Should I tell my sister she’s adopted? The New York Times Magazine recently tried to answer this question in an article written by The Ethicist, a philosophy professor named Kwame Anthony Appiah. He makes several really great points.
3 Good Reasons to tell
- Secrets creep up on well-intentioned people. They meant to tell but the time never seemed right. Who knows what fuels procrastination, but decades later, secrets can rock relationships.
- There is no date on the calendar labeled “old enough to understand.” When you don’t proactively decide the right time to tell a secret, that day will never come.
- You promised not to tell when you were a child. This shouldn’t mean you’re silenced indefinitely. The adoptee is entitled to know.
Yes, you should tell your sister she’s adopted
“Maybe today isn’t the best time to break the news,” but you will find the right time, and you will find it soon. As human beings, we don’t have the right to withhold this information from another human being.