Love Letter From A Surrogate’s Husband

Posted on: January 31st 2014

I wanted to share with you all this incredible journey of surrogate motherhood.  I want you all to know just how much my wife, a surrogate mother, means to me!  What she has done is appreciated not just by the couple she was a surrogate mother for, but it is appreciated by me.  What she has done has changed so many lives, including mine.  To give someone the gift of life is a miracle. She has put others first to make their dreams come true.  I will do my best to make her the happiest woman alive and help her raise our kids to realize that life is about having a positive impact on the lives of others!

The Beginning

This year my wife Brittney and I met two potential parents that have been through so much trying to have a baby.  Their only DREAM was to have a baby!!  They never gave up faith or hope.  Our amazing friends at Family Formation (especially Dory) set us up with couples looking for a surrogate mother and who they felt we would be compatible with.  We were still undecided after meeting a few families.  Brittney received a phone call a couple weeks later and was told, “Brittney I found the couple for you guys.  I think you will really like them.”

Brittney and Husband

I must say, Dory knew exactly what she was talking about.  I’m not sure if it was luck or all the faith the couple had, but Dory was right.  These were the ones.  I still remember it like it was yesterday, meeting at the restaurant in Berkeley.  They showed up with smiles, joy and chocolate chip cookies.  I swear they knew that Brittney loved to eat.  Let’s just say after a late lunch, we fell in love!  This was a choice we made together; we wanted to change the life of these people forever.  God led us to this point for a reason, and Brittney and I both felt this was going to be a life changing journey for us all.

The Reality

Day in and day out, shot after shot, I knew for a fact I couldn’t go through what my amazing wife, Brittney Ann, did.  Whether it was medicine going into her mouth, stomach, or leg, it just didn’t matter to her.  She had the determination to change this couple’s life!

Transfer day finally arrived.  Fingers were crossed and prayers were said the night before.  Brittney and I had our game faces on.  I told her keep faith and don’t do anything differently.  Let the doctor do his job, and we’ll keep faith that everything is going to turn out okay.  After the transfer, we all gathered by Brittney’s bedside to make her comfortable and let her know she wasn’t alone.

Eight weeks later, it was time to check if baby A and baby B had stuck.  Brittney and I went in, and the couple followed.  We were all anxious for what was going to happen next.  Our doctor began the ultrasound, and told us just what we wanted to hear:  “There is baby A and…. right …. here…. is baby B… both babies have a nice heart beat.”  Twins!  Tears of joy and hugs!  The whole car ride home, Brittney and I smiled and talked about how incredible this was about to be.

Every single day of the pregnancy, the doting couple was so involved – whether it was phone calls, texts, emails, or coming to doctor appointments.  At every appointment, they had a little special gift for both of our kids that made them smile from ear to ear.  Those little things were the things that counted the most!

The Anxiety

We went to bed one night toward the end of the pregnancy, and in the middle of the night, Brittney’s water broke at 2:17am.  First thing Brittney could think of was that it was too early, she was only 30 weeks along.  She started crying and I told her, “Relax, you need to relax and remember what our doctor said – if they are born at 30 weeks, they would very likely be just fine.”  We went to the hospital, and they looked at the babies and told her everything looked fine. At any moment she could go into labor, so they would have to keep her at the hospital from now until possibly her due date.

I can remember seeing her face and the disbelief.  It was early December, and Brittney would miss Christmas.  She was also going to miss seeing Elija Jr. in the Christmas rally that day.  Who was going to watch the kids?  Who was going to stay with her?  Who was going to do everything at home?  Everything was running through her head, and she was asking me question after question.  I just kept reassuring her that everything was going to be fine.

The Miracle

The couple arrived at the hospital, and I said to them, “We didn’t come this far to give up hope and start to worry now.  We have to keep faith the babies are going to be fine, and Brittney will relax and do her best to be comfortable in this room as long as it takes.  It’s not going to be easy for any of us, but we have to get it together for Brittney and these babies.”  The babies’ mother told me after that, “Through all of this Elija, your words have touched me and you have given me hope that everything is going to be fine.”

Christmas finally came – it’s the couple’s favorite day.  Santa came to the hospital, too!  We had planned a big Christmas dinner with Brittney in her room to show her how much we all loved her. This Christmas, Brittney gave the best present she could have given anybody…the babies were born that day, first the baby girl around 1:30 pm and then the baby boy.  Finally, the moment we all worked for had arrived.  Brittney completed a beautiful family on Christmas day.

Click here to apply now to become a surrogate with Family Formation.

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