Open adoption planning should include at least one meeting with the adopting parents: don’t wait until you deliver that baby!

Posted on: June 04th 2014

When you make an open adoption plan, it’s almost always a good idea to meet the adopting parents before you deliver—no matter how nervous you are or how awkward you think it will be.  There are several good reasons for this.

An open adoption for your baby includes planning for delivery
An open adoption for your baby includes planning for delivery

The first reason: awkwardness is a great way to start a wonderful, trusting relationship through open adoption.  Start with awkward and build from there.   By the time you meet the adopting parents, you will already know a lot about each other, so chances are that it won’t be awkward once you break the ice.  Many birth mothers remember the awkwardness as a sweet moment and the first “issue” they worked though with the adopting parents, finding things to talk about and making the relationship work.  Most birth mothers find the first meeting a huge relief, an affirmation that they chose the right family.

Another good reason to meet ahead of time: you won’t feel at your best during labor and delivery.  Having a baby is a major event for your body, and if you’ve never had a baby before, you will likely be nervous.  You will almost certainly be tired and feeling physically wonky.  This is not always the best time to break the ice with the adopting parents or get to know them for the first time.

Finally, it’s easier to get to know someone in person.  Once you have met and have had a chance to get to know the adopting parents, you’ll have a much better idea of how you want things to go at the hospital.  Who will be in the delivery room?  Who will hold the baby first?  Do you want other family members or friends there to support you and to meet the adopting parents as well?

Decide who will be in the delivery room and who will hold the baby first
Decide who will be in the delivery room and who will hold the baby first

 

Meeting before delivery and getting to know the adopting parents can be really helpful in making an honest and real open adoption plan.  We can help you through every step of this process, including planning for meeting the adopting parents and planning for the hospital.  We are available 24/7.

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