My daughter is pregnant. When those words run through your head, you feel a whole range of emotions. You may feel angry, sad, or panicked. You may feel proud of the way she’s handling it and the way she told you. When you’re the parent of a pregnant teen, here’s how you can help.
Listen to Her Needs and Offer Support
When your daughter first comes to you with the news that she’s pregnant, you may react calmly or you may not. However you reacted at first, approach your future interactions with the maturity that you need to bring as your daughter’s parent. Listen to her feelings and her needs, and offer support. She is experiencing a huge range of emotions right now, and she needs a listening ear.
Your Daughter is Pregnant: Show Empathy and Respect
Right now, you daughter needs you to support her emotional needs and respect her choices. Once she’s decided to make an adoption plan, she needs you to show empathy for her and her choice. While you can express your thoughts, ask for hers as well and help her design her future. Help her design her present as well. Give her time to go out with friends and support the everyday life that she wants to continue during this time of change.
Help Her Make Plans
As your daughter’s advocate and support person at this time, you can help her make plans. One plan she’ll need to make is her adoption plan. She’ll need to consider who she’d like to choose as adoptive parents and what they’ll be like. She’ll need to think about the birth and about her choices after birth. Does she want an open adoption? Would she like to see her child in the future? All of these choices need to become part of her adoption plan.
Support Your Daughter as a Future Birth Mother
As a future birthmother, your daughter needs you to be supportive and educated about adoption. Read about adoption and learn how adoption works today. If your daughter is creating a birth plan, learn what she’s put in it and offer to be her support person. Be willing to share what you know, but respect your daughter’s choices as well.
As your daughter faces her own emotions about the pregnancy, birth, and adoption, you’ll face new emotions as well. You may feel angry, resentful, or afraid, and that’s normal. Don’t hesitate to speak to a counselor yourself or talk with friends about your feelings. By doing what you need to do to support yourself, you can be a better parent for your daughter at this time.
If you are considering adoption, contact us:
- Click here to send me a confidential text
- Click here to send a confidential email
- Call my office at (800) 877-1880
Images Courtesy of Family Formation: Client photos printed with permission.