How Will My Child Feel About Being Adopted?

Posted on: July 29th 2015


being adopted
As your child grows, how will he feel about being adopted?

Should I give my child up for adoption? What will my child think about being adopted as a child, a teen, or an adult? Imagining your child’s future reaction to adoption can cause you to worry. While adoptees have many emotions and thoughts about being adopted, supportive adoptive parents and birth parents can help them explore and work through their feelings.

Open Adoption Can Help

In past decades, people who were adopted often did not know that they were adopted for a very long time, if at all. Their adoption was a family secret. This meant that as children, they didn’t grow up understanding and appreciating adoption.  They also didn’t they get to know their birth parents. This air of secrecy sometimes led children to feel like their adoption was something that needed to be hidden.

Today, most adoptions are open adoptions. This means that adoptees know that they are adopted and have access to their biological family’s medical history. Birth parents can receive letters from the family and even visit with their adopted child and the adoptive family. This openness reduces some of the mystery around adoption which helps an adoptee become comfortable with the adoption.

Choosing Supportive Adoptive Parents

Adoptees may want to connect with their biological family, racial, or cultural history, especially as they grow into teens and adults. This is part of exploring who they are and understanding themselves as unique individuals. When you’re looking for adoptive parents and making an adoption plan, make sure that you choose parents who can support this exploration if that’s important to you. Whether it’s finding a cultural community or maintaining connections with you and other members of your child’s birth family, choose adoptive parents who can support your child’s explorations of race, culture, and family history.

Older children may start exploring how they are different from others, and this includes being adopted.

Your Child May Not Know How to Feel About Being Adopted

Children can feel unhappy about their adoption, just as they can feel unhappy about many other aspects of their life. As children grow, they learn about what makes them and their family different. Some children are only children, some are biracial, and some have glasses. Sometimes children relish these differences, and sometimes they feel awkward about them. Your child’s adoptive parents can help your child work through this time of uncertainty and come to see that you and your adoptive parents made a choice that was good for your child.

When you’re thinking about adoption, contact Family Formation:

  • Click here to send me a confidential text
  • Click here to send a confidential email
  • Call my office at (800) 877-1880

Images Courtesy of Family Formation: Client photos printed with permission.