“Should I give baby up for adoption*? Really conflicted because of family.” This is the text I got from a woman on the east coast at 6 am today. Here’s what I told her.
Don’t make an adoption plan for your baby just because your family (or someone else) is pressuring you. Women who feel good about their adoptions frequently know right away that adoption is their best option. This might be because they have already thought about what they’d do if they were faced with an unplanned pregnancy. It might also be that they have experience with adoption in their own family and feel comfortable with the idea. On the other hand, some women need time to really explore and think about it. This is okay too as long as you’re following what’s in your heart and to listening to your instincts. Don’t talk yourself into it, and don’t decide until you’re sure.
Making good choices requires at least a little research. If you’re considering adoption for your baby, you really should understand open adoption. Learn what it means to have your parental rights terminated. Talk with women who have placed their children for adoption. Talking with someone who has been through the process can be incredibly helpful when deciding if adoption is right for you.
Most importantly, if you know in your heart you want to parent, then don’t let anyone pressure you into making an adoption plan. Adoption comes with varying levels of grief and loss even in the best of circumstances. It is difficult to move forward from this if you are always questioning whether you did the right thing. You are less likely to question it if you do your research and follow your heart.
Is Adoption The Right Choice For You?
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*“Give baby up for adoption” is no longer how we describe adoption. Today we call it “making an adoption plan.” Browse this website to learn more.