5 Questions to Ask Before Agreeing to Become a Surrogate Mother

Posted on: May 21st 2015

The arrival of a new baby is an enormous life event for anyone. Unfortunately, there are people who are unable to conceive a child. That is when a surrogacy program can be considered. There are a number of steps involved in a surrogacy process, and being a surrogate mother calls for important consideration as well. Women looking to become a surrogate mother for someone in need likely have a lot of questions to ask before making the decision.


Here are five questions you should ask before choosing to become a surrogate mother.

Surrogate mother
There are a lot of things to consider before becoming a surrogate mother.

1. What is a surrogate mother?

With any big decision, it’s good to start with basic information. A surrogate mother is a woman willing to help a couple or single individual experience the joy of parenthood, when they are unable to birth a child themselves. A surrogate mother steps in to carry the child to term and birth.

A surrogate has generally had previous pregnancies without issues, and has possibly raised children of her own. She is often between the ages of 21 and 35 and must be in strong physical and mental health. It is important that the child be carried to full term and birth without any incident. Obviously, she must be clean of all drugs, alcohol, and tobacco. It is also important that the surrogate mother be financially capable of caring for herself throughout the pregnancy. Out-of-pocket assistance from the intended parents is up to them; it is the surrogate’s responsibility to take care of finances for her and the baby during pregnancy.

2. What is expected of a surrogate mother?

Legal, emotional, and financial aspects have to be addressed during the surrogacy process. It is important to know the legal rights of both the surrogate mother and the intended parents.

Medical procedures and checkups are necessary for a healthy pregnancy. This means that, through out-of-pocket or insurance, doctor visits and procedures must be paid for. There are agency, attorney, and adoption fees to consider as well. This, of course, varies by situation, and all parties, their attorneys, and the agency have to be involved in all steps to ensure a smooth and problem-free process. Be sure that you know exactly what’s expected of you, legally and financially, as a surrogate mother before making the final decision.

3. Is my family supportive?

It is true that making the decision to become a surrogate is up to each individual person. It is, however, important to have the support of family and friends during the pregnancy. The process of becoming pregnant and giving birth can take up to a year, possibly longer.

The agency and intended parents will want to know that the surrogate’s family is on board, since most intended parents want the surrogate to carry their baby in a stress-free and positive environment. Also, the additional support helps to ensure that medical appointments are consistently attended. Surrogacy is a complicated process, and accessing all possible support is essential.

4. Will my background and history be a consideration?

Many intended parents aren’t keen on having a surrogate with a criminal past. Most agencies will run a background check as part of the surrogacy process or if requested by the intended parents. Small or minor offenses can usually be overlooked, but violent or drug-related problems raise a red flag.

It is important to be completely honest. A surrogate should share with the agency, attorney, and intended parents any past events that could cause problems during the surrogacy process. Again, some things can be overlooked, but it needs to be understood that another life hangs in the balance – that of the unborn child.

5. Am I completely ready to become a surrogate mother?

The previous questions are based on the steps and process of the surrogacy program. This question goes deeper and is hugely important. Carrying a child and supporting a life inside one’s body is a huge responsibility. Giving birth to a living, breathing child creates an intimate and instantaneous bond. It is important for women considering becoming surrogates to ask themselves this question.

Are they physically able to carry the baby? If so, when it is time, will they be emotionally and mentally ready to let that baby go with the intended parents? It is necessary to take the emotional health of all involved into consideration. It is a life-changing event for every person involved and has to be treated with care and respect.

The arrival of a new life into the world is a beautiful thing. The surrogacy process enables those who are unable to experience it traditionally, to experience it firsthand. The surrogacy program is a wonderful way to allow families to be started and is truly a gift incomparable to anything else. It is also a big decision to become a surrogate mother. Knowledge is power, and with these questions as a platform, we hope that anyone considering the life-changing option of surrogacy will be able to make an informed decision.


Lorena Brockman is an upcoming blogger for JennsBlahBlahBlog.com. She writes product reviews for different items and also creates recipes and how-to projects for JennsBlahBlahBlog.com. She has traveled the U.S. and parts of Europe and spends much of her time with family. She is Auntie Rema to her family and on social media. Her focuses are on family, food, fashion, and fitness. To learn more about Lorena and read her articles, visit JennsBlahBlahBlog.com.